Play Review #1 Grace

Yesterday Brenda and I went to see the play, Grace playing at the Cort Theater. We just stumbled upon it on line. We saw that it starred Paul Rudd and Ed Asner and I thought it had to be good then. We bought "rush" tickets that morning. Rush tickets are cheaper usually because the view of the stage is partially obstructed. We sat in the front row! The stage was rather high so we had to look up but we were so close! It was amazing! We just weren't able to see from their knees down but in a straight play that is really not necessary. We could see their faces so well, the spit coming from their mouths as they said their lines, it was awesome! Ed Asner was especially good, so believable! And Michael Shannon was amazing as the angry neighbor with the smashed up face. I just want to see it again to see if it is as good the second time.

The play was amazing. It is about this religious couple who meet these two other people who don't believe in God because of the horrible things that happened to them. It was really intense. I am very willing to suspend my disbelief when it comes to theater. I really got into the play and was almost tired afterwards. It was a drama with a not so happy ending. It was about real life, real situations. I like those kind of plays and movies and would love to perform in them.

I am so impressed with writers or playwrights who create these stories and characters, that never before existed except in their imaginations. Then these lucky actors get to bring them to life for all the world to see.

Of course after the show we waited outside for the stars to come out the back door. Paul Rudd came first. He signed people's programs, including mine! and took pictures with everyone. Then he was ushered to his car by security. Next came the one female player, Kate Arrington. She was sweet and signed her name and posed for pictures also. The she left the crowd and walked down the street like everyone else. And that's the difference between a star movie star and a stage star. No one knows who you are when you just perform on stage. This is good and bad. Last came Ed Asner. He looked older and a little more tired than he did on stage so he did a limited amount of autographs and photos but he did sign mine! More than the signing it was nice to be able to tell the actors how much I enjoyed the show. Glad I got to do that. Michael Shannon did not come out but rather it seemed elected to stay at the theater and rest until the show that evening. This makes sense considering he had the most make up of anyone. I was bummed. It would've been nice to tell him how much I liked the show. I think the show goes until Jan. 6 so if you are ever in NYC I would highly recommend seeing it.

Me and the stars! Pretty cool! I know my hair is bad but I had just taken a ballet class that morning!

Making Connections and Obstacles

Last Wednesday I met a guy my age that is kind of like a manager for actors. He is actually a member of my ward but doesn't come. It is so nice to have the church in common though. He does private coaching for actors and also knows A LOT of casting directors. He holds a workshop for actors where the casting directors come and work with you one on one. Anyway, he came to my house and I had a little free consultation with him. It went really well. I am so excited to meet with someone who can help, someone who knows the ins and outs of the business. He was very blunt and positive though, believing that I can achieve whatever I set out to do.

I must admit that I was impressed with how he could see exactly what is preventing me from getting anywhere in the business. I know I just started so perhaps I should say what will prevent me from making it. No, I am going to fix it so it won't prevent me from making it! Anyway, my lack of confidence is the problem. I know that in my head but somehow I have to get my heart to believe it. He said that all he sees now is fear and when I walk into an audition that is all the auditors see too. Darn it! I know that the only thing between me and amazing performers (well, besides experience of course) is confidence. I can do what they do, no problem! I just need to believe it! Needless to say I will be doing a lot of praying and soul searching regarding this topic. My new friend said he would help me fix this problem too. I am so excited! Moving in the right direction! Few feelings are better than this! I will learn how to have confidence and you will all know it when I start appearing in show after show after show! Lol!

Monday Night High

Last Monday it happened again. I walked home from acting class on cloud nine. And once a gain it took a few hours to go to bed! I just did a little three minute improv for the class. I was to speak to three different people on the phone, three people that brought out three different moods or sides of me. I asked my mom for a favor (which I'm always doing), spoke with my brother who was asking for money, and then spoke with a roommate that was just coming home after being away for the weekend. It went alright. I mean I loved it! At the beginning, my teacher asked me to restart because he couldn't hear me. He pointed out that I wasn't making a movie (not yet!) but was on stage and needed to speak up. Just a little exercise but so fun. I need more stage time. It was good to watch everyone else do their improvs too but I'm just a little stage hog and want to be up there all the time! Tomorrow we are supposed to do an exercise where we are searching for something, a lost key or credit card perhaps. But class might be cancelled do to the storm. I hope not! My work has already been cancelled, which means I get to sleep in. Yay!

Be personal???

This blog has helped me realize how hard it is to write how I really feel. I mean I have a journal that I write in often but no one reads that, thank goodness! But to write my innermost thoughts where someone else can read them? Now that is scary! First of all, punctuation matters! I mean I have to write clearly and coherently? Not sure I'm capable of that but you understand most of it, right? The second way in which it is scary is that it's permanent! My thoughts are there, in black and white, there where you can reference them. They can never be forgotten.

I am the type that will tell you anything! I will tell you more than you wanted to know. If you were here in person I would talk and talk but writing it down? That is much more difficult. I don't really like the idea of putting my most personal thoughts out there for anyone to read (good thing there are only about five people that read this). Just something interesting that I've learned about myself. Realizing this has led me to admire my sister even more than I already do. Throughout her daughter's cancer treatment she and her husband have kept a blog, updating friends and family on her various treatments. The entries were always so personal. I was surprised because my sister will not tell just anyone about her feelings. She is a very private person. Yet she easily shared shared her thoughts, feelings, faith and worries about the situation. This really impressed me and now that I'm writing this blog I am struggling to be that honest. Should I really write about my feelings, fears and doubts? I guess. That's what makes it real, right? I am not so sure I am that brave. I'll have to think about it.

Update on the Dream

Sorry, it has been a long time since I've written. Life has been pretty normal, not much has happened. Last week or maybe it was the week before I went to an audition for "The Little Princess". They were a ton of girls their as usual. I waited my two and a half hours and then took 30 seconds to sing my song. It went alright, I mean I didn't get the part but I did it. Someone told me that for every 100 auditions you do you might get four callbacks, so about 95 more to go. See things are looking up!

I have had two acting classes since my last entry. Not much happened in them, the first one I just watched others perform. The second one I did my little two minute exercise where I was on the phone in some conflicted conversation. I had to stare out into the audience but to make myself more comfortable I had to create the fourth wall of my bedroom. It was short and I think I rushed it but it went well I guess because the teacher said I could go on to the next exercise. I just wish I could do more acting in the class, maybe if there weren't so many students... I hope to take two classes next semester.

I am still taking my tap class on Tues. nights. I was happy to find out that I could make it on time even when I worked until 6pm. I have also taken some ballet classes. It has helped me get back in the swing of things, dancing wise that is. Even if I am not totally in shape yet at least I am moving in the right direction.

I'm always on the lookout for people who know the acting business and can help me out with any suggestions or advice. There is a friend at work who has done some work on some soap operas. She has been very helpful. I hope to talk with her again soon! There is also a guy in my ward that helps actors get started in the business. I meet with him next week. So grateful to the people and all of their help as I struggle move forward in my acting career.

Acting Class #4

Last Monday during acting class I got to be in another students skit. The teacher called me up and told me I was going to do my specialty of persuading my friend to go on a double date. This made me laugh. I guess he liked the last time I played that role. This time I was to go to my friend's apartment and convince her to come to a Tea Party rally where there will be all kinds of guys we can meet. Easy, I thought. Boy was I wrong! The other girl in the class, who was playing my friend is from China I think. She speaks very little English and doesn't really know what the Tea Party is. So I went in and invited her to come with me instead of going out with her friends. I tried to explain that there would be all kinds of men there dressed in nice suits. We could just mingle and chat with the ones we wanted to. She then said we could just go to a bar and meet some guys. A bar?!? No way, I said, you never know what you are going to get there. These guys at the rally are intelligent, they have ambition and passion! Afterwards it occurred to me that I probably just insulted every person in the class. I am thinking they have all been to a bar to meet people and I did just imply that people who go to bars are not smart and ambitious. Oops. I was definitely being myself, saying stupid things and insulting people when I didn't mean to. Anyway no one in the class said anything. One girl commented afterwards that she loved my character. Little does she know that is who I am and what I am like! Glad she thought it was funny and that I was being a 'character'.

Anyway, I tried and tried to convince my friend to come. But she refused. When I told her I didn't want to go by myself she was quick to point out that it is easier for guys to approach a girl that is alone than one that is with friends. Well, I couldn't argue with that one. I tried all of my manipulative techniques, even ending with guilt telling her that I was going to come home with all of these phone numbers and she would be missing out, but to no avail!

Explanations

October 5th and I am still here! I just wanted to point that out to all of the naysayers, aka my brothers! But I won't brag too much because it has only been a month and who knows what will happen. I may still need to call you for money. :) But I am excited to have made it this long and am grateful for my job and all those who have helped.

The other night Brenda and I went to see a screening of Princess Bride that was part of the NY Film Festival. The cast of the movie was there watching with us and afterwards they did a little Q&A. It was amazing! I couldn't believe I was there listening to Billy Crystal and Rob Reiner. I turned to Brenda and said, "Are we really here? Do we live here? We are not even on vacation!" Needless to say I am enjoying the perks that come along with the city.

I must explain the title of my blog "Livin' the Dream, MY Dream." After I wrote it I realized that it comes across as kind of arrogant and selfish. But I think once you understand where I am coming from you will see that it's really not that at all.  My whole life I have done what is safe, what others expect me to do, what I think I SHOULD do, not really what I WANT to do. This is partly because I didn't really know what I wanted but sometimes even when I did. So I just got tired of doing what I was supposed to do and decided to take the plunge and do what I wanted to do not what others thought I should do. Hence the title, Livin' the Dream, MY Dream. I finally have courage to do what I want. I know it has taken a while but better late than never, right? What other perk is there to being single if not to pursue the things you love? This of course makes me nervous and is a little scary but I am so happy I'm doing it! I was impressed with Michael Cabrera and how he could have sat out the latest game and guaranteed his spot as a Triple Crown winner but instead he chose to play and risk losing it. That is so cool. I want to take more risks and be less safe. Like someone said, you have to be willing to go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is!