More than our brother is our chastity.

While on Long Island I have been able to study acting.  Every weekend I get a ride into the city where I stay with friends.  In order to prepare for grad school auditions Saturday mornings have been reserved for my private acting lessons.  I must present two contrasting monologues and 16 bars of a song.  I have learned so much in my preparation.

My Shakespearen monologue is Isabel's soliloquy from Measure for Measure.  Isabel is about to take her vows as a nun when she hears that her brother has been sentenced to die for getting his betrothed pregnant.  Isabel goes to Angelo, the deputy, to plead for her brother's life.  Angelo falls in love with her as he listens and offers her a deal: if she will sleep with him he will free her brother.  My monologue is her response to this indecent proposal.

I must admit that I was nervous to do a Shakespeare monologue.  I enjoy his plays but I am far from proficient.  The language is so difficult. I can barely understand it.  How could I portray one of his characters?  I read the play several times and met with a Shakespeare professor at Long Island University.  He was gracious enough to meet with me twice to go through the scene that proceeds my monologue.  These tutoring sessions were very helpful.

I fell in love with the scene and the monologue.  Once I understood it it was so easy to memorize, far easier than my contemporary piece.  It was the strangest thing, the words just rolled off of my tongue.

Another thing happened as I rehearsed it with my teacher, I cried.  I have a deep connection with the piece; over and over I became emotional.  As I pondered why this was many reasons came to my mind.  The injustice in the scene makes me so angry!  When Isabella threatens to tell others about his indecent proposal, Angelo tells her that no one would believe her, he says: "my false overweighs your true."  This kind of evil makes me sick!

Isabel must choose between her chastity and the life of her brother, not an easy choice.  She decides to tell her brother, confident that he would never ask her to make such a sacrifice.  She explains that he would gladly die so that she can remain virtuous.  Perhaps I grow emotional because I am blessed with four amazing brothers who would never ask me to do a thing like this.  But how terrible it would be to know that my chastity would cost the life of my brother!  Maybe I think of my Elder Brother Jesus Christ, who willingly gave His life so that I can become clean.  Either way I feel a kinship to Isabella.  Coming from a religious background myself, it it easy for me to understand the gravity of her predicament.

I also learned that not everyone sees the monologue in the same light.  During my tutoring session with the professor he explained that I need to get the auditors to empathize with me.  They need to feel sorry for me, that I have to make this decision.  Well, duh, I thought.  This is an awful decision! But then he said, "yes, why is she being such a prig?  Why won't she just sleep with him and save her brother.  She has the power to save him."  Of course I tried to conceal my horror.  How could anyone think like that?  Then I realized that not everyone is religious and some watching might think those things.  (I know...I am a little naive.)  Anyway, it was a good reminder that everyone brings their own experience to a play.  I shouldn't assume that everyone will understand or agree with Isabel's choice not to give in to Angelo but hopefully everyone watching will see what a heart wrenching decision.