Being Single

"You have been given a bum deal.  I am sorry but it's true."  My mom recently said this during a telephone conversation.  She was referring to my being single.  When people say these kinds of things I aways just brush it aside.  Whatever, life isn't so bad.  I mean, I have all my limbs, I can see and hear.  I have all of my mental faculties.  I have a job and can take care of myself (well, kind of).  Life is good.  What right do I have to complain?  And besides, like I shared in my talk a few weeks ago, we are supposed to be grateful in all circumstances.  In an effort to display gratitude I have always considered myself richly blessed and free of trials.  But what if this attitude is more about denial rather than courage?

Just a few days ago I was expressing some anger and frustration to my brother on the phone when he replied, "perhaps it might be good if you expressed some gratitude to Heavenly Father, that you are counted worthy to bear this trial."  His words struck me.  Trial?  You mean this is a trial?  Usually, I  consider myself so blessed that I don't ever let myself refer to being single as a trial.  There are thousands of people, if not more, who have worse problems than I do.  They have real trials.  Being single isn't really a trial...or is it?

Both my mother's and my brother's comments made me stop and think.  Is being single a trial?  Do I have the right to give it such a title when others seem to be enduring so many worse situations?  I have concluded that my brother and mother are right; it does merit the title of trial.  I do not desire to wallow in self pity or complain or compare my trial to anyone else's.  I am just wondering if acknowledging it as a trial would help me cope.  Perhaps I should stop berating myself for feeling sad   or lonely.  Maybe I should stop pretending like it's not a real trial or that I don't have a right to be struggling.  Because being single is hard.  Acknowledging it as a trial might help me accept it and work through it, instead of scolding myself for complaining.  I am extremely blessed with good friends and an amazing family but that doesn't mean I should feel guilty for having bad days.  Plus, if I believe that I am "counted worthy" to bear this trial I won't think of myself as being punished, maybe I haven't done anything wrong?  Heavenly Father and has given me this trial because he thinks I can handle it and I am grateful for that!  I do not desire to wallow in self pity but maybe I should just call a 'spade a spade'.  So instead of beating myself up because I am struggling, I can choose to be faithful and diligent, showing Heavenly Father that I trust in Him and His plan for me.