Happy 2014!

This post is kind of late in coming, maybe 31 days late. I just wanted to share a few of my New Year's resolutions. You know, they say if you tell them to someone it helps make you more accountable for them. People know what you are up to and can "check up on you." They can ask about your progress.

I must admit I was really excited for the new year, I mean really excited. I love new beginnings! Everything will be different, better! Imagine how shocked I was when life just continued on like it was before. It was hard to take. For a few weeks I was really depressed, didn't want to do anything. Life was really hard for awhile. It might have been the lack of change or just hormones (I like to blame everything on hormones) but whatever it was I am glad it is over! Now on to these goals.

1. Read the entire Old Testament
2. Study one composer/month
3. Read one biography/month
4. Become more humble
5. Move career forward (This involves another list of smaller goals.)
6. Pray more earnestly
7. Serve faithfully in my callings
8. Aim to do one thing every week that scares me
9. Pay off some bills
10. Exercise more often (whatever that means! Lol!)

As you can see I have a lot to work on. After one month I can think of a few goals that could use some revision. I can't believe one month has already passed! Only 11 more to go. I better get busy!

What the &*$^#? Profanity in Acting

I know throughout my acting career I will be faced with many decisions regarding my standards. I am aware of this and have accepted it as part of my job. I do have "a line" that I will not cross but it can only be defined as I proceed with my acting career. As situations in acting class or auditions come up I will have to look the script over, consider the message and decide what I will do. As the years pass my "line" will become more clear.

I am not opposed to swearing in acting. I prefer not to of course, but I also know that no one is perfect. I will have the chance to portray some very real, flawed characters. For this reason I will be very picky when deciding what scenes and plays I will do and what ones I will not do. I am always on the search for clean scenes to use it acting class. While I don't mind swearing some I don't feel it is necessary for me to do while learning the skill of acting. There are so many wonderful plays out there to study. I am convinced that one can learn to be an amazing actor without have to speak like a sailor.

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop with a casting director that works on several TV shows. Each of us received sides(lines to read) to read at the workshop. I thought, "it's a TV show, the sides are five or six lines long, how many swear words can there be?" Well, apparently, there can be quite a few, needless to say I was surprised. I was not going to read my part. After looking over the sides that were given to other actors (which were not filled with swear words) I decided I would ask for different sides. Clearly, if these other actors had sides with no profanity it wouldn't be difficult to provide me with a cleaner set of sides. The woman in charge emailed the casting director who happily provided me with a better option. I was grateful but also kind of nervous, wondering if I had just made some blacklist because I wouldn't do what they asked. But I went and did my lines, the casting director never mentioned it and could've cared less. Phew! I was glad it worked out!

The next day in acting class a guy in my class had a scene but didn't have a partner. I got volunteered which I was grateful for but I didn't have a chance to prescreen it! What was I getting myself into? I quickly tried to scan it to get a sense of the scene, like how inappropriate it was. My teacher told me not to read it. I could just read it cold, she said. Little did she know I was skimming it for swear words! The little I read seemed okay so I went with it. The scene went well. I said the few swear words that were in it. It went well. It was not nearly as bad as it could have been.

Acting is going well. I love my class. The teacher is great and I am learning a lot. I am finding plenty of good, clean scenes to work on. I am currently working on a scene from Doubt. I am very comfortable being a nun; it comes quiet natural to me. And there will be no profanity! Win, win!

My Biggest Fan!

Many of you know I spent almost a year and a half living with and caring for my grandma. It was such a good experience. To little kids grandma is a fun, loving, caring person. This is wonderful and how it should be but I got to know my grandma's personality. I learned what annoyed her, what made her laugh, and what she worried about. I came to know her as a person, a person with desires, ideas and feelings. I am ashamed to say that sometimes I even hurt her feelings. I am least proud of those moments. But to her credit she always forgave me (it helped that her memory was going). No, but she is really one of the most patient, forgiving, loving, considerate people I know.

And she listened to me sing the same songs over and over as I prepared to move to NYC. She is my favorite audience! Many times over the years I have played my flute for her and sang for her. She sits quietly with a smile on her face, soaking in the sometimes beautiful music I make. She never tires of hearing me. She never judges or criticizes my wrong notes or mistakes. She just sits and enjoys. She always tells me how lovely the music is and what a good job I am doing.

Needless to say I miss her. If only the casting directors would respond in such a way, instead I get rejection after rejection. But all I need to do is remember my grandma. She loves me, she thinks I am amazing! These are the things I tell myself whenever I get down. It does help that I get to talk with her on the phone. She is always supportive and kind. Below is one of the conversations we had:

Grandma: You are a winner to me! I don't know why it takes them so long to figure it out!

Me: You are my favorite audience, grandma!

Grandma: I like being your audience, I just wish it did you some good.

Me: It does do me good! (Then I explained how her support helps me.)

She is not really a big city girl so she has a hard time understanding why I moved here. She is constantly asking if I still like it and when I am coming back. She said this the other day, "I really wish you wouldn't like it there so you would come back but I know you like it so I won't wish that. I'm glad you are happy." Isn't she amazing? So selfless and thoughtful. I hope I can be like her someday! I assured her that I would see her next summer. I also promised that as soon as I am rich and famous my money would go to plane tickets to visit her more often!

I think this is Memorial Day visiting my grandpa's grave.

Auditions, auditions, auditions

I did go to more auditions than I wrote about. A few of the shows I auditioned for were A Christmas Carol, Hansel & Gretel, Fiddler on the Roof, The Pajama Game, and South Pacific twice. One of the difficult things about auditions is that they are all different. Just when I think I know what I am doing they change something like cutting our 16 bar audition to 8 bars?!? My nerves don’t calm down until bar 12. You can see how this creates a problem for me! Despite this I still like to think I am getting better with each audition. It helps that I have had lots of friends at the auditions with me!

2013 Wrap Up!

Good bye 2013!

Because my entries were rather sparse during the second half of the year I have included a few of the highlights….

September- My Aunt Lynette and Aunt Joanna came to visit. We saw Cinderella. We also went out to eat and shopped a little bit. I worked full time the one week they were here.

October- I did another workshop with Rance. Performing for casting directors always makes me nervous but I love the workshop setting because I get feed back. It was a great experience! 

November- Paul, Emily, and Josiah came out to visit me for Thanksgiving. We played in Central Park, walked around Times Square and Rockefeller Center and ate in Chinatown. It was a great time!

Enjoying a salted carmel shake at Harlem Shake. Yum!

Teaching Josiah how to drive, it's never too early to start.

December- I still cared for my charge and attended auditions. I went to my sister’s for Christmas. We had a really good time playing and talking. The French Sunday School class sang a French carol in Sacrament meeting. They want us to sing again, which we will do. I also played my flute in church. I celebrated my 35th birthday with a few great friends. We went to dinner at Tony Di Napoli’s. It was a lovely time! I can’t believe I am 35, in fact I try not to think about it!

This sign greeted me when I entered my room at my sister's house!

Making a gingerbread (graham cracker) train.

My sister's beautiful family reading the Christmas story, makes me think of that line from Pride & Prejudice (LDS version)? "If she wasn't my best friend I would probably hate her." I am glad we are friends!

A little trampoline fun! Making popcorn!

The year was full of fun and family. I had many visitors for which I am grateful. I love it when family and friends come to visit. I am blessed. It was a fabulous year. Here is hoping 2014 is just as good, if not better!