So far I have been living in NYC and only working part time. I know cool, isn't it!?! Who ever gets to do that? But as I have put money away for taxes (you are welcome Uncle Sam) it has been more and more difficult to make it only on part time work. This has been a devastating realization. I mean I get up at 9am, get ready, waste time on my computer, eat breakfast and leave for work at 12:30. Then after 5 1/2 hours of work I'm beat; I need to go home and relax! (I don't know how you people put in 8 hrs everyday!) And that's what I do or go out with friends. Occasionally I go to an audition or practice my songs. I mean life is good!
But recently I began to feel guilty, here I am with all of this free time and I am not using it. Supposedly, I have all of these things I want to accomplish and I am wasting my time. All I could think of was someday I will be a busy mom (this is still a possibility) with many kids. It is then that I will look back on this free time and think, "if only..." Regret, that is all I could think of, that I would someday regret wasting this time. I hate regret.
After talking with my Bishop I realized I needed to be more proactive in my life, more productive. He and I came up with some important goals for me. He suggested I write weekly goals and have an accountability buddy, someone I can report to. I usually do weekly goals but they are more of a to-do list rather than goals designed to take me places. The last few weeks have been good. I have been more focused and productive. My accountability buddy is very helpful.
One of the major goals has been to get a new job or volunteer somewhere. I just need to not waste so much time! Heavenly Father gave this time to me for a reason. I need to make sure I make good use of it. I have sent out many applications, had one interview, and a couple more babysitting jobs. Hopefully, something will work out. I still want to pursue acting and the stage. I have not lost sight of my goal just maybe think some more money might help me pay for more acting, singing, or dancing lessons. Don't think that I have given up on my dream. It has actually had quite the opposite affect. I am going to auditions now. I do not want another job! The only job I want is to perform so I am more motivated now than ever to audition!
Life is good! I am blessed with extra time. I will be blessed as I strive to know how to best use this time.
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