Wednesday night we worked with a casting director named Scott. He was very nice, professional and demanding. I must admit I got a little nervous listening to him describe his disappointing stories about bringing people in for directors and then watching them crash and burn! Um, okay, no pressure!
I sang "There's a Fine, Fine Line" from Avenue Q. It went well. He said I needed to stop listening to my voice and act, be in the moment. Apparently, I can't rock either (been trying to break that habit for awhile now) and he said I need to smile and find the joy in the piece. Smile? Really, while I am so nervous?!? No, they were all good comments, heard them all before.
Then I sang "Far From the Home I Love" from Fiddler on the Roof. Before I started he shared that this is one of his favorite songs. Oh goodie, now I am not nervous! It went well. This one is easier for me to sing than the other one. He did say I had a beautiful voice and that I didn't need to listen to it. He helped me think about the lyrics and the character, suggested I needed to make it more personal. I agree with everything he said. He was kind and said he hoped to see me again soon!
Thursday night we worked with Michael. He was also very kind and easy to work with. He said I needed a new head shot (they have all said this). I just got my hair cut and when I get it highlighted I will get a new headshot. He said I was prettier and younger than I look in my photo. How nice! I never want it to be the other way around. After singing my three songs for him he pointed out that I get in my own way. Hum, I have never thought that before! That is the story of my life! How do I fix this, get over my nerves? I actually asked him. He said you kind of just have to say f&*$ it and do it! I have heard those words many times. Now all I need is the courage to do it! Something to pray for...
I sang "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from Grease for my first song. This one is more difficult vocally and I had never sang it for anyone so I was nervous but I received some good instructions that included singing with my water bottle as a microphone and dancing in front of the mirror. This was silly and embarrassing but definitely helped me loosen up. After this I sang it standing still and it was much better than the first time. Oh so much to learn!
I sang "I'll Know" from Guys and Dolls next. I love this song and it sits well in my voice. I let loose and sang. Michael was sincerely impressed with my voice especially since the previous song didn't really show off my voice. He did a couple of double takes while listening. It was really fun to see him so pleasantly surprised! I don't know how many people have to tell me before I start believing that I have a good voice and can actually sing!
Because of extra time we got to sing a third song, I sang "My New Philosophy" from You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. After I sang it Michael said that he usually doesn't like this song but that he actually enjoyed it that time. Score! He and Rance gave me a few suggestions, which involved walking around the room like a crazy person, and I sang it again. It went better this time of course. I still need to work on my poses and energy for this song, lots to do. But I do like the song so it shouldn't be too hard to put the effort into it. My vocals were much better Thursday, Michael did say I could sing. I did this song on Tuesday night and the acting was much better but boy I rarely hit a note or beat. But one thing at a time.
Nerves. I must overcome them! Michael pointed out that when I am in control and confident in the audition room the auditors can relax because they know I have it under control but if I am nervous it makes them nervous and they aren't sure if I can do what I want to do.
It was a great workshop. I am glad I did it. It is really helpful for me to perform every night. My nerves are so much calmer that fourth night. Two auditions next week! Wish me luck and confidence!
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Day #2 of musical theater workshop
This week I am participating in a musical theater workshop. Every night a different casting director comes to work with us. It is great exposure and a rare opportunity to get feedback from those in the business.
Last night we worked with Rance Wright, a manager/coach and director of the workshop. There are five other people performers in the group and everyone of them has an agent. When I found that out I knew I didn't belong. I became very intimidated and rightly so, because they were all amazing! They have all performed on tours and had many jobs. Then I went up and sang my songs. It was awful! Let's just say there is a reason I didn't write a post about it. But after a few tears, prayers, and a good night's sleep tonight's performance went much better.
I sang for Jason from Binder Casting. My two songs were "I'll Know" from Guys and Dolls and "My New Philosophy" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I made it through without letting my nerves get the best of me. I enjoyed singing the songs and got some awesome feed back. Now I know what to work on with those songs.
I am not sure what changed or how I was able to come back from a night like last night but I am sure happy with the results! Actually, I might know what made the difference. As I was praying last night I got the impression I needed to be more humble. Crazy, isn't it? In this industry of confidence and "look at me" I was prompted to be more humble?!? But when I think about it I was intimidated by the others because I was comparing myself to them, I knew I was not as good as them. This made me feel anxious and uncomfortable, incapable of measuring up. While praying I realized I should be grateful to be in a class with them, watching them perform and being able to learn from them. This is a more humble attitude. It was my pride that was threatened by them, making me more nervous and self-conscious. So today I tried to be more humble, content with where I was. Instead of comparing myself to others I tried to be satisfied with who I am and where I am at. With this attitude I was less nervous, it was easier to be confident.
Last night we worked with Rance Wright, a manager/coach and director of the workshop. There are five other people performers in the group and everyone of them has an agent. When I found that out I knew I didn't belong. I became very intimidated and rightly so, because they were all amazing! They have all performed on tours and had many jobs. Then I went up and sang my songs. It was awful! Let's just say there is a reason I didn't write a post about it. But after a few tears, prayers, and a good night's sleep tonight's performance went much better.
I sang for Jason from Binder Casting. My two songs were "I'll Know" from Guys and Dolls and "My New Philosophy" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I made it through without letting my nerves get the best of me. I enjoyed singing the songs and got some awesome feed back. Now I know what to work on with those songs.
I am not sure what changed or how I was able to come back from a night like last night but I am sure happy with the results! Actually, I might know what made the difference. As I was praying last night I got the impression I needed to be more humble. Crazy, isn't it? In this industry of confidence and "look at me" I was prompted to be more humble?!? But when I think about it I was intimidated by the others because I was comparing myself to them, I knew I was not as good as them. This made me feel anxious and uncomfortable, incapable of measuring up. While praying I realized I should be grateful to be in a class with them, watching them perform and being able to learn from them. This is a more humble attitude. It was my pride that was threatened by them, making me more nervous and self-conscious. So today I tried to be more humble, content with where I was. Instead of comparing myself to others I tried to be satisfied with who I am and where I am at. With this attitude I was less nervous, it was easier to be confident.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Damsel in waiting but not in distress.
Why isn’t what I am doing enough? Why do people have to ask questions like “Where will you move next? I hear the singles scene is better in this city, why don’t you try there? How long will you stay in NYC?” Hell, why can’t I just live my life? Why can’t I just do what I love and let that be enough?! I know, I know, you all know I want me to get married which is why you bring it up but for once can’t you just be supportive and ask me about what I am doing? Believe me when there is a potential guy you will hear about it. You all claim that I can be a happy person on my own but then are unable to treat me that way. Plus, I am constantly being reminded that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, married people have problems too (fyi I hate this argument, single people have problems too but can you blame me for not wanting to face these problems alone???) So in one breath you say the grass isn’t always greener... and in the very next one you are trying to convince me to move to DC or Salt Lake or maybe California. Really?!? Besides why am I the one who has to go traipsing around the country looking for him? Why doesn’t he come and find me for a change? I want a guy who is motivated to look for his better half (aka me). This is why I am going to stay right here and pursue my dreams, not matter how long it takes; time is the one thing I do have! So if any of you meet whatever his name is and see that he is searching for me, his better half, please tell him where I am which is right here in NYC participating in the many things that I love, the most important one being the Church! And that is enough!
I do not mean to point fingers at anyone that might have prompted this post. Though there are a few family members who might be guilty, I hold no ill will towards you. I know you are just trying to help. No doubt these conversations bother me because the voices in my head are saying the same thing! The point is I am not mad at anyone I just had to get some things off my chest. I do appreciate everyone's prayers and thoughts in my behalf as I patiently wait for my other half, I couldn't make it without your help. Thank you!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Musical Reviews
About three weeks ago I had two of my cousins and a good friend here to visit. We had a fabulous time. I'll definitely be posting pictures later. While they were here we went to see a couple of shows, which I must review of course.
Saturday afternoon we went to see Jekyll & Hyde. My cousin Jessica, roommate Karen and I, all sat in the back balcony for the first act and then moved closer for the second act. I read the book years ago so I don't really remember which parts are true to the book. The musical was good. The singing was very good. The music is good. There a few really famous songs in the show. I love the song, "Someone Like You". The acting was alright. They did a nice job. The story is dark. I did not feel myself drawn into the story, empathizing with the characters all that much. Of course, this is why I go to the theater to feel something, to experience what the characters are going through. I didn't really get that in this show. It was amazing though, the sets, costumes, and singing. The music was also really, really loud. When we moved up for the second act I had to sit with my ears plugged in order to enjoy the show. I was in the balcony and it was blasting. But I do have sensitive ears, often plugging them as the subway roars by.
Monday night we went to see Newsies. This was my second time seeing the show. I sat in the balcony this time. I must admit I prefer the middle orchestra seats I had the first time. The production was great. I loved the dancing and singing. I was not as impressed with the acting this time even though most of the cast was exactly the same. I was less caught up in the story this time. Maybe it was because this was my second time and I was just noticing different things. Even with all of that said I left thinking, I have to see it again! I have more family coming in June so maybe that will be possible! The story is just so positive and inspirational. I love it! It is a must see for everyone!
Saturday afternoon we went to see Jekyll & Hyde. My cousin Jessica, roommate Karen and I, all sat in the back balcony for the first act and then moved closer for the second act. I read the book years ago so I don't really remember which parts are true to the book. The musical was good. The singing was very good. The music is good. There a few really famous songs in the show. I love the song, "Someone Like You". The acting was alright. They did a nice job. The story is dark. I did not feel myself drawn into the story, empathizing with the characters all that much. Of course, this is why I go to the theater to feel something, to experience what the characters are going through. I didn't really get that in this show. It was amazing though, the sets, costumes, and singing. The music was also really, really loud. When we moved up for the second act I had to sit with my ears plugged in order to enjoy the show. I was in the balcony and it was blasting. But I do have sensitive ears, often plugging them as the subway roars by.
Monday night we went to see Newsies. This was my second time seeing the show. I sat in the balcony this time. I must admit I prefer the middle orchestra seats I had the first time. The production was great. I loved the dancing and singing. I was not as impressed with the acting this time even though most of the cast was exactly the same. I was less caught up in the story this time. Maybe it was because this was my second time and I was just noticing different things. Even with all of that said I left thinking, I have to see it again! I have more family coming in June so maybe that will be possible! The story is just so positive and inspirational. I love it! It is a must see for everyone!
Modeling audition
I almost forgot my one semi-successful audition. I saw an ad for a modeling audition. They were looking for petite models. I fit the description of height, dress and shoe size so I figured I would try it. Plus I wouldn't have to sing or dance so I might have a chance! I got all dressed up and took my picture and resume to the audition. There were only about eight of us. We stood in the hallway while a woman took our picture and resume into a back room for some to see. A few minutes later she came out and told a few of us to try again in about six months and others she gave a card and told them to email this man to set up an appointment. She asked me to set up an appointment! I made it, I guess. I promptly returned home to email this man so we could meet. He emailed back and asked for pictures. I emailed him the pictures and he said thanks. That was it. I haven't heard from him since. So, I guess they have me on file? I was chosen but not really? It was a good ego booster for a few days. So much to learn about this industry...
Other auditions
A few weeks ago I tried to audition for a musical. I can't even remember what is was, oh I remember it was Beauty and the Beast, the touring company. I would love to be in that show! I went in the morning, this time not early enough. There were about 150 people already there. I had to be at work at noon and wouldn't be able to wait around so I came home. Thus paying bills trumped my audition. Responsible? Yes. Depressing? Yes.
Then I went to this dance audition for a summer theater in New Jersey. I know, I said I wouldn't go to anymore dance auditions! I went and they had us do a little fox trot diddy and a tap number. Yep, I should've left when I heard about the tap requirement but I stayed and faked it. It was awful! What am I thinking? Needless to say I didn't make it very far!
I beat myself up for going to this auditions that I can't do but maybe it's not so bad. I have heard several stories of people doing poorly at auditions but so and so was there and remembered them so they were invited to do a different project. And I'm an actress. I was acting the part of a tap dancer. Lol! Do you like how I try and make myself feel better? It's all about getting experience. Somehow I don't think I'm getting smarter at this auditioning stuff. I will have to work on this!
Then I went to this dance audition for a summer theater in New Jersey. I know, I said I wouldn't go to anymore dance auditions! I went and they had us do a little fox trot diddy and a tap number. Yep, I should've left when I heard about the tap requirement but I stayed and faked it. It was awful! What am I thinking? Needless to say I didn't make it very far!
I beat myself up for going to this auditions that I can't do but maybe it's not so bad. I have heard several stories of people doing poorly at auditions but so and so was there and remembered them so they were invited to do a different project. And I'm an actress. I was acting the part of a tap dancer. Lol! Do you like how I try and make myself feel better? It's all about getting experience. Somehow I don't think I'm getting smarter at this auditioning stuff. I will have to work on this!
Audition attempts & other random thoughts
Last Wednesday I went to the auditions for the touring company of Wicked. Oh, how I would love to be in that musical. I got up early and sat in line for two hours. It was an "Equity Chorus Call" which means they audition all of the equity or union performers first and then if they have time they see those that are not a part of the union, i.e. me. Wicked is a popular show, knowing this I went early to make sure I was on the non-equity list (sometimes they just have time to see the first 30 or so, on the non-equity list). But because Wicked is so popular (lol, I have the song running through my head now) all of the equity performers were there. Anyway, after sitting for two hours we were told that they would only have time to see equity performers today. Ugh! Really? Well, it was a nice thought. Maybe next time.
It is always nerve racking to sit and wait hours before you perform. I don't like it. I want to sing and practice but I am sitting with a hundred other performers so it isn't really the place for that. I just sit and wait and read. I just finished reading "Rita Moreno: A Memoir". She is the actress who won an Oscar for her role as Anita in the film West Side Story. It was an interesting read. It didn't contain quite as much about acting as rather more about her relationships. I guess this should not be surprising considering it is not so much what we do that gives us satisfaction as it is our relationships. They are what give life purpose.
Anyway, Ms. Moreno talks about the voice in her head that kept saying she wasn't pretty enough or wasn't smart enough, wasn't a good enough dance, didn't belong in Hollywood, etc. The thing that annoyed me in the book was I felt like she talked about the voice as if it was unique to her and nobody knows what it's like. Hello! We all have that voice in our head, Ms. Moreno. It is not unique to you! Knowing this I wish she would have spent more time explaining how she overcame this voice, how she got rid of it. Maybe she just learned to deal with it. Maybe it never goes away, maybe I just have to learn how to ignore it. I would like to read the book that answers these questions. Anyone know where I can find such a book?
It is always nerve racking to sit and wait hours before you perform. I don't like it. I want to sing and practice but I am sitting with a hundred other performers so it isn't really the place for that. I just sit and wait and read. I just finished reading "Rita Moreno: A Memoir". She is the actress who won an Oscar for her role as Anita in the film West Side Story. It was an interesting read. It didn't contain quite as much about acting as rather more about her relationships. I guess this should not be surprising considering it is not so much what we do that gives us satisfaction as it is our relationships. They are what give life purpose.
Anyway, Ms. Moreno talks about the voice in her head that kept saying she wasn't pretty enough or wasn't smart enough, wasn't a good enough dance, didn't belong in Hollywood, etc. The thing that annoyed me in the book was I felt like she talked about the voice as if it was unique to her and nobody knows what it's like. Hello! We all have that voice in our head, Ms. Moreno. It is not unique to you! Knowing this I wish she would have spent more time explaining how she overcame this voice, how she got rid of it. Maybe she just learned to deal with it. Maybe it never goes away, maybe I just have to learn how to ignore it. I would like to read the book that answers these questions. Anyone know where I can find such a book?
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