Acting Class: Learning to Bare All

Apart from the nudity, acting classes have been going very well. Why these young actors think they have to be willing to do and say anything is beyond me. I feel like shaking them and telling them that is is okay to have standards! You don't have to sell yourself!

I was assigned to work with my friend Kelsey, who I love. We worked on my scene from Doubt together. She is a great actress. She had a scene from a contemporary play that I can't the title. In the scene there are two women sitting on a bus who find out that they both left their husbands. We did the scene and I just went for it again! I was myself, which is really hard because you always think you have to 'act' like how the character would act but really you are just supposed to be yourself in the circumstances of the scene. This makes me nervous because I like wearing a mask, it is much safer that way. But I just went for it. I owned it! I wasn't nervous to be myself, I just did it and I was confident.

My teacher and other students were shocked! They couldn't believe how well I did! I couldn't either, really, I don't know where the confidence is coming from! I mean I am sure Heavenly Father is answering the prayers and fasting I have given in regards to this subject. I am so grateful. And I am having so much fun!

Anyway so while one student was literally stripping I was doing a little stripping myself(there is that stripper analogy again), figuratively that is. Yes, I was letting my walls fall down, allowing myself to be vulnerable. I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin, clothed skin albeit but one thing at a time. This is a huge step for me and I am so excited about it!

I did it! I did it!

Last Thursday I participated in a one night workshop. It was an opportunity to perform and I took it. There were eight of us and we each spent 15 minutes working on one song. My friend Rance coached us. I sang "I'll Know" from Guys and Dolls.

It went so well! I don't know what happened. I wasn't nervous. I didn't care what other people thought of me. I just jumped right in and sang, making any adjustment he asked for. The second time I danced while I sang. The next time I sang it like a stalker. This was so fun! I was committed and went with it. After that I sang it like I would never marry. The last time I sang it like I was trying to convince myself that I really would know my love when I saw him. This I believe is the true meaning of the song. It went well. I wasn't nervous but was rather concerned with how well I was acting. The other performers said it was beautiful, one girl looked like she had tears in her eyes.

It was so fun to sing without nerves! I felt so liberated, I was not weighed down with care of what the others would think of me. I was shocked by my behavior. I didn't expect such confidence! I didn't even beat myself when I sang the wrong rhythms or words. I was pleasantly surprised with myself. It felt so good!

Three in One Week

Last week I actually went to three auditions in one week. I know this is probably normal for my acting friends but it is quite a lot for me.

The first was for a cabaret show. I was able to sing two songs at the audition! And I had an appointment. None of this waiting around for six hours to sing for ten seconds! I sang My New Philosophy and Fine, Fine Line. I was extremely nervous of course. Philosophy didn't go so well. Being nervous messed with my voice which is shaky on that song anyway. Fine, fine line went better but then again I have performed that song before so that helped. It was a good experience. It was so nice to be able to see two songs!

The second was a dance audition for The Music Man in some city in New York. They taught us the little dance to Shipoopi. I could actually do the dance! This was so refreshing. It actually doesn't happen as often as you think, considering the other girls in the audition are 15 years younger and way more flexible than I am. It was fun to do the dance but as I stood there I still had the thought, "I don't want to do this." This was odd. Usually I have that thought when I know there is no way I can do the dance but that wasn't the case this time. I shrugged it off and did my thing. It went well.

The third audition was another dance audition, this time it was for a theater company in Maine. It was a joke. There were so many girls there that they type cast us. They took us in 50 at a time, lined us up and let us do a time step and pirouette one at a time. Just one problem, I don't know what a time step is! I know it is a tap step but couldn't do one. It was embarrassing. I did it or tried to at least and then hurried home.

Just an old picture from when I was in Annie in Utah.

Two Reviews: After Midnight and The Glass Menagerie

Over the past few weeks I have been able to see two shows on Broadway. The first show, "After Midnight" I saw with my cousin, Brenda.  It was different, more of a concert style show. There was no story just musical numbers. The music was from the 1930s in Harlem. Dule Hill was the star, along with Fantasia. I am a fan of Dule Hill. He was great, playing the role of a sort of narrator. He did a little singing and dancing but it was clear he was brought in for his star power. Fantasia is apparently from American Idol.

I loved this show! It reminded me of the Alvin Ailey dance company. The production is so aesthetically pleasing you can't help but smile. They coordinate the lights, music, and costumes to give their audience an experience rather than tell a story. It is breathtaking! It is so beautiful! And I don't know what it is about watching black people dance but it is amazing! They are so natural, nothing looks choreographed or mechanical. They are not dancing to the music but instead music appears to be coming out of their bodies, as if the music would stop if they stopped dancing. The singing was so good. They sing like they dance, full of emotion, giving their whole soul to the song.

The Glass Menagerie starred Cherry Jones, Zachary Quinto, Celia Keenan-Bolger, and Brian J. Smith. I was really excited to see this production but unfortunately it did not live up to my expectations. It was more difficult to get swept up in the story. I just wasn't feeling it. Mr. Quinto was the most interesting one to watch. I was not particularly convinced that Ms. Keenan-Bolger had a leg problem. At times I couldn't understand Ms. Jones's lines. While the second half was better than the first I just didn't quite believe the characters were real. The more I study acting the more I realize just how difficult this is, to convince the audience that they are not watching a play but rather watching real people live their lives on stage. It makes me both excited and nervous to pursue my dream of acting.

My friend Brittany and I after the show.

Famous Friends!

It is always inspiring when friends you know achieve their dreams. I have two close friends that are well on their way. It has been good to meet with them and rejoice in their success!

One such friend is Deanna Doyle. We danced together all through high school. We reconnected about a year ago when we ended up in the same ballet class. It was so good to see her; it's probably been 15 years or more. It was even more fun to realize that we both lived in Harlem. She is a beautiful dance/performer and was recently cast as "Meg" in Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. I have only seen Phantom in Las Vegas. I am so proud of her and look forward to watching her perform in her Broadway debut.

A few weeks ago another life long friend, Lisa Donnelly, was here performing. I met Lisa in the third grade when I was the shy, new girl. My family had just moved to Lawrence and Lisa and Emily, were the first two to befriend me. They were so kind, giving me a group of friends to which I could belong.   We have been friends ever since.

Lisa is a singer/songwriter(who during high school studied voice with my mom). She has produced several CD's and performed all over the country. It was so fun to see her perform live at the Rockwood Music Hall! She was amazing. We were able to chat for a few minutes. It was really good to see her and see what an amazing artist she has become. Of course I bought two of her CDs!

Happy 2014!

This post is kind of late in coming, maybe 31 days late. I just wanted to share a few of my New Year's resolutions. You know, they say if you tell them to someone it helps make you more accountable for them. People know what you are up to and can "check up on you." They can ask about your progress.

I must admit I was really excited for the new year, I mean really excited. I love new beginnings! Everything will be different, better! Imagine how shocked I was when life just continued on like it was before. It was hard to take. For a few weeks I was really depressed, didn't want to do anything. Life was really hard for awhile. It might have been the lack of change or just hormones (I like to blame everything on hormones) but whatever it was I am glad it is over! Now on to these goals.

1. Read the entire Old Testament
2. Study one composer/month
3. Read one biography/month
4. Become more humble
5. Move career forward (This involves another list of smaller goals.)
6. Pray more earnestly
7. Serve faithfully in my callings
8. Aim to do one thing every week that scares me
9. Pay off some bills
10. Exercise more often (whatever that means! Lol!)

As you can see I have a lot to work on. After one month I can think of a few goals that could use some revision. I can't believe one month has already passed! Only 11 more to go. I better get busy!

What the &*$^#? Profanity in Acting

I know throughout my acting career I will be faced with many decisions regarding my standards. I am aware of this and have accepted it as part of my job. I do have "a line" that I will not cross but it can only be defined as I proceed with my acting career. As situations in acting class or auditions come up I will have to look the script over, consider the message and decide what I will do. As the years pass my "line" will become more clear.

I am not opposed to swearing in acting. I prefer not to of course, but I also know that no one is perfect. I will have the chance to portray some very real, flawed characters. For this reason I will be very picky when deciding what scenes and plays I will do and what ones I will not do. I am always on the search for clean scenes to use it acting class. While I don't mind swearing some I don't feel it is necessary for me to do while learning the skill of acting. There are so many wonderful plays out there to study. I am convinced that one can learn to be an amazing actor without have to speak like a sailor.

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop with a casting director that works on several TV shows. Each of us received sides(lines to read) to read at the workshop. I thought, "it's a TV show, the sides are five or six lines long, how many swear words can there be?" Well, apparently, there can be quite a few, needless to say I was surprised. I was not going to read my part. After looking over the sides that were given to other actors (which were not filled with swear words) I decided I would ask for different sides. Clearly, if these other actors had sides with no profanity it wouldn't be difficult to provide me with a cleaner set of sides. The woman in charge emailed the casting director who happily provided me with a better option. I was grateful but also kind of nervous, wondering if I had just made some blacklist because I wouldn't do what they asked. But I went and did my lines, the casting director never mentioned it and could've cared less. Phew! I was glad it worked out!

The next day in acting class a guy in my class had a scene but didn't have a partner. I got volunteered which I was grateful for but I didn't have a chance to prescreen it! What was I getting myself into? I quickly tried to scan it to get a sense of the scene, like how inappropriate it was. My teacher told me not to read it. I could just read it cold, she said. Little did she know I was skimming it for swear words! The little I read seemed okay so I went with it. The scene went well. I said the few swear words that were in it. It went well. It was not nearly as bad as it could have been.

Acting is going well. I love my class. The teacher is great and I am learning a lot. I am finding plenty of good, clean scenes to work on. I am currently working on a scene from Doubt. I am very comfortable being a nun; it comes quiet natural to me. And there will be no profanity! Win, win!